Waking up to a brand new day. Progress leads to hope and then the new unknowns arise that lead to fears. Carson has been progressing so well but today's diagnosis was that he will need a shunt.
Goodbye to the feelings that things were settling down, hello to new unknowns and fears of his fragility. We went from being happy about his progress to feeling like we were about to start all over - after all a shunt means a brand new surgery which means going back to all the tubes and machine hookups that we were so happy he had conquered.
I think one of the biggest shakeups is the separation of truth from expectations. Sometimes you see many positives that are true and tie them to an expectation. Then, when that expectation is shattered, you begin to doubt the truths that you had lumped together with it. This parallels our Christian life and beliefs as well as the Devil often uses this technique to get us to doubt our foundation. Let an expectation sneak in along with foundational doctrine and then blow up the expectation and suddenly our focus is lost from where it is supposed to be as we doubt the truths we had it nestled beside. As we saw many positives and had a hope of not needing a shunt, the dashing of that hope left us doubting the positives. Have we overestimated all the progress? Was it all imagined and he's much worse off than expected?
That is when the roots of truth have to reground you. Who is at the helm? Is my trust in Him? What room do we have left to worry or fear that which we do not know if we hold fast and strong to those two truths? The surgery for the shunt will come and it will go and the same hand that was upon Carson for his last surgery will be on him for this one. The same hand that had control over his well being from the start is no less able to care for him with a shunt. Lord, we praise you for your hand upon each of us and our well being as every day for each of us is a gift from you.
Again, we would like to extend our thanks to each of you who love and support us. Your kind words are such an encouragement. Your prayers mean so much. It is obvious that His strength is with us each day and not our own, and your prayers and loving words are being used by Him tremendously. Thank you all!