There is a gift that the Lord gives us every day and all too often we take it for granted.
Today will become a yesterday as tomorrow becomes a today.
And honestly about that next day I don't remember much. I am sure that we were still in shock and still in a state of disbelief. But we got up, and we had a good day. I do remember as I drove to visitation I heard my favorite song "Before you knew how to love me."
I thought of you long before I ever crossed your mind.
I held to you before your hands could hold to mine.
Before you walked, before you talked, before your eyes could ever see.
I loved you before you knew how to love me.
Oh how I loved my baby. All I could do at that moment was cry. My baby had Spina Bifida. My baby had a disability. My baby was.... and my heart ached for my baby. I had so many questions. I didn't have any answers. I just knew that so many things were going to change.
And now, just one year later. Things have changed.
The words to that song ring so loud and clear, So full of blessings and joy.
I've crossed his mind.
I've held his precious little hands, and he has held mine.
I've heard the cutest voice say Ma Ma and Da Da.
I've seen his eyes light up and smile.
And I feel more love for my baby boy than I ever imagined possible.
Thank you Lord, for the gift of yesterday.
The gift of today.
When we first hear that our child has a disability, we worry so much because of the unknown. We worry because we feel they will be incomplete. Questions like "will my child ever walk" creep in and haunt us. Then comes that magical arrival. Maybe days, maybe weeks, for some even agonizing months - full of worry but also a large lesson in trust. Then, we finally get to take that child home and from that day forward we begin to experience that, disability or no, there is absolutely nothing missing. We begin to see that the only thing that was "incomplete" was our understanding of what love and family is really all about. Concerns and worries about our child's future and well being - they are still there, but as that love grows, as that incompleteness of understanding is wiped away, the concerns and worries take their proper perspective and become much more minor inconveniences in a life that is more full than we could ever have imagined.