Cherubs story Lesson #51

It was a BUSY day in Heaven! Oh my, so much was happening!  That meant that there were so many things to record in his big book that Angel had been sitting at his desk working steadily for... well... for quite a long while!

All of a sudden, Angel heard a sound he knew very well.  His young friend, Cherub, was coming his way.  Well, not just coming his way, but galloping like a runaway horse AND yelling very loudly at the same time.

"Angel, Angel!"  Cherub slowed to a fast trot as he breathlessly called out "Angel! Angellll! Are you here, Angel!?" 

As Angel stood up to welcome Cherub, Cherub BURST through the door and ran smack-dab into Angel! They rolled across the floor, robes, legs and arms spinning in wide circles.  Before Angel could pull his robes down over his knees, Cherub bounced up beside him, talking very loudly and very fast.

"Angel, God has another baby almost ready to go to earth!  But, Angel, I was watching, and He's not finished with the baby, and He doesn't know it because He's already started His Special Blessing Song.  Oh, Angel, help me tell God the baby isn't done yet! Please, Angel, we have to hurry!  Otherwise God will make a mistake!"

At this remark, Angel knew it was lesson time again.  Yes, indeed, it was time for Lesson #51 about God.

"Come along, Cherub."  said Angel, holding out his hand so that Cherub would lead him directly to where God was at work.  Cherub chattered excitedly about the new baby as they hurried to a special valley known in Heaven as "Babies Place".  As they entered, Someone was singing in a soft voice.

"God your Father loves you so,

Loves you so,

Loves you so.

God your Father loves you so

Now off to earth you go."

Cherub yelled before he even knew what he was doing!  "NO!"  And then, because he was terrified, he hid behind Angel's robes, hoping that God couldn't see him.  But Angel knew Cherub had to learn lesson #51, and so he reached behind his back, caught Cherub's arm and pulled his young friend around to face God.

God was looking right at him!  Then He spoke right to him, "Cherub, do you have something to tell Me?"

Cherub pointed to the baby boy in God's arms and blurted "God, that baby You're holding isn't finished!  Don't send it to its home on earth yet!"

God gazed down at the baby boy and then looked up.  "Yes, Cherub, this little boy is ready to go to his home on earth.  His Mommy's name is Karen and his Daddy's name is Bob.  They are waiting for him right now."

"But, God, his back isn't finished and his feet need a little more work!  Can't you please just finish him before he has to go?"

"Cherub, would you like to hold him?  His name is Carson."

Cherub looked up at Angel who nodded his head yes.  Cherub ran to sit beside God, but God pulled him right onto His lap and put little baby Carson in Cherub's arms!

God began speaking so softly that only Cherub could hear His voice.  "Cherub, you are very young.  Some things are not going to make sense to you right now.  Cherub, do you trust Me?"

As he thought about his answer, Cherub counted the baby's tiny fingers - yes, there were ten.  "Yes, I trust You."

"Will you trust Me even though you don't understand what I am doing in Carson's life?"

Cherub counted Carson's toes - yes, there were ten.  "Yes."

"Carson's mommy and daddy already know that Carson will need some finishing work on his back and feet.  But, Cherub, they know, and they already love him so much, they can hardly wait for his arrival."

Cherub continued touching the baby's soft skin.  "They know he's not finished but they love him anyway? Really God?"

"Yes, really."  God and Cherub looked at each other, and then Cherub hugged God's neck with all his might.  "God, I do trust you.  I'm sorry I yelled at you.  Will you forgive me?"

God hugged Cherub very closely and said in his ear, "You are forgiven, Cherub.  Now, would you like to sing My Special Blessing Song with Me before Carson goes to meet his mommy and daddy?"

As they watched Carson being whooshed over the edge of Heaven, carried in his guardian angel's protective arms, God and Cherub blended their voices in joyous song (of course, Cherub sang the loudest!)

God your Father loves you so,

Loves you so,

Loves you so.

God your Father loves you so

Now off to earth you go!

Later, as Angel and Cherub walked back (well, Angel walked, but Cherub - he ran back and forth looking at all the flowers beside the path), Angel asked Cherub, "What did you learn about God today?"

Although Cherub continued to examine a big yellow sunflower, he answered immediately and loudly, "God never makes mistakes!"

"Cherub, one more thing you might like to hear is a chorus that Carson's mommy and daddy learned as a choir song at their church.  It goes like this:"

God is too wise to be mistaken,

God is too good to be unkind.

For when you don't understand,

When you don't see His plan,

When you can't trace His hand

Trust His heart.

After a rare moment of silence, Cherub asked "Angel, isn't that like Proverbs 3:5 and 6?"

And, of course, it is.

The big ONE is coming.

On Thursday, just 5 days away, our baby boy will be turning one........ I am overwhelmed by that fact. How is it possible that a year is about to pass? How can my little baby boy be so big and have grown so much? Now, I am mostly excited that he is about to hit the big one, yet a small part of my mommy heart is saddened that he is no longer in the infant stage. I loved this infant stage.

Seriously though, wasn't it just last week that he was born.

Or maybe yesterday that we brought him home from the hospital

This past week as I watched my friend's 3 month old son I couldn't help but remember carson at 3 months old.

ok, ok.... enough before I start crying and reminiscing and go full blown mommy in relapse on you. :) As I reflect on this past year there are so many blessings, so many amazing moments, and wonderful memories. There are so many times that I am just plain speechless as I look at a picture. For instance.

 We have come through a complete year on our journey with spina bifida. We have been in the hospital. We have seen countless doctors/ specialists. We have waited in prayerful silence as our baby has been in surgery. We have gone to sleep in tears and woken with more questions than there were answers. It has been very difficult at times. It has been painful at times.

But..... Through it all God has been so very good. Through it all He has taught us to trust in Him, to lean on Him. Through it all we have never been alone. Through it all He has only proved His goodness and His power.

As we conclude our first year of blogging and celebrate Carson's first birthday I cannot think of anything more fitting than to share with you  the story that was written for me and presented at my baby shower. It was a story written to comfort and encourage. It is a story that through this year has proved to be true in so many ways. Starting tomorrow Cherub's story Lesson #51.

update update

I never touch spirits. Have you some milk? - MATNBA

                                         Remember, always look both ways. -
                                          



                                        Wait til they getta loada me - RKEJO


                                        It's all a blur. Like a horrible day-mare. - NIBRO
                                                      Holy costume party---


All are taken from a incredibly wonderful movie and all have something in common with Carson. ??????

Thats right! Carson was batman for Halloween... be sure to check out the muscular abs. :)

Being a Sunday, we had quite a busy day.... but we did enjoy a taste of trick-or-treating and the reward that it brings.

We have a very special treat happening this week My best friend has been visiting us from Kansas and she brought along her cute little man. Here's our boys dressed up for church on Sunday morning.

As for other baby news. The doctor is considering me to be between 14 and 15 weeks along. Everything is going very well. I am feeling better and gaining some energy!!!!! :) I will be seeing the perinatologist at 18 weeks to start the special testing needed to rule out spina bifida or other birth defects. I denied the pre-screening (AFP test) because the number of false positives is so high...and I do not have a consistent due date. But ultrasound and possible amniocentesis are around the corner.  Please continue to pray for Orr number 4 :) Numbers 1,2, 3 could use alot of prayer too. :)


           

update

Here is a quick update to let you know how things are going. IE... Some cute pics to share. :)

Carson is on the road to bigger and better foods. Here he is enjoying pears. We have also started him on whole milk.

First Field trip. We visited the animal living museum. Not so sure about this snake.

Out of the snake house

A possum???

Say "cheese" by the bears

We are currently working on getting Carson his own won wheelchair.

Please keep this in prayer

I cannot wait to have him zooming around.

Fear

Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger. Worth noting is that fear almost always relates to future events, such as worsening of a situation, or continuation of a situation that is unacceptable. Fear could also be an instant reaction to something presently happening.

On March 15, 2009 I developed a entirely new sense of fear. . You see, This is the day that I found I was pregnant and though I was elated beyond words I was also filled with fear. I consider it to be maternal fear.

On September 25, 2009 My maternal fear reached a new level as I was told that the precious child I had carried and loved and "protected" was harmed. This was a threatening fear. A fear that in words in unexplainable. It is a fear that hurts, a fear that constrains, and a fear that angers. You may be shocked that I mentioned anger, but let me relate it a little more practically. What happens when you attack a bear cub??? Mama bear will attack you out of anger in her protective maternal instinct. So yes, I had a level of anger in regards to the threat that I feel involved my child. 

Now let me discuss something very personal and very real. When I was told that Carson had spina bifida I was coming up on 32 weeks pregnant. Because of the late term I was not offered an abortion. It was never mentioned to me--- Praise the Lord!!!! I am firmly and unapologetically against abortion for any reason...  Abortion is murder... It is without justification, and it is wrong. However, on September 25 and the days that followed I struggled with the idea of whether or not it would be better for my child not to live. Whether he would be better off in Heaven away from struggles and pain. In shame I admit that I prayed along this line. I was full of fear. 

By God's grace, and goodness Carson arrived on November 11,2009. He was beautiful and He was perfect. Ten fingers, and ten tiny toes. Daddy's mouth and mommy's nose. My aching and fearful heart in regards to spina bifida began to heal and I was able to thank and praise the Lord for giving me Carson and allowing him to live. What a gift his life is, what a precious precious gift. 

Tonight there are mothers who just recently found out their child has spina bifida. They will be struggling to sleep.They will be hurting, angry, and overwhelmed with fear. They do not have a child to hold and heal. Rather they have too many unanswered questions and too many worries. They need our support, and they need our prayers. Colleen, our wonderful SB mom group administrator,  has suggested that we all participate in a National Spina Bifida day of prayer !!!!! A day that we all petition the Lord together and share with Him our hearts and our desires for these recently diagnosed Spina Bifida babies.

Specifically we will be praying for---

The diagnosing doctors, that they would be educated about SB, that they would give the diagnosis kindly, compassionately, and truthfully.
 The parents, that they would find the resources they need and the hope and assurance that they would not terminate out of fear.
The babies, that God would bless their little lives, that they would teach us all what God wants us to learn, that they would be protected.
The families, that they would support and encourage the parents.

Please join us!!!!!


Wednesday, October 20 at 9 am PST 

Hebrews 4:16 "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. "

Philippians 4:6-7 " Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

The ride

In just four weeks from today we will throwing Carson his very first birthday party.

Wow!!!!!!

 I am in complete shock at how quickly this year has gone. I cannot believe that the 7lb. 5 oz. baby we brought home on November 23 is now 20 lbs and 11 months old. I cannot believe how many blessings and answered prayers the Lord have given us. It is amazing, humbling, and so rewarding to have our son in our lives. And I want to make a few things very clear.

Yes, Carson has spina bifida. Yes, we still have questions. Yes, we still have fears.

But......
There has NEVER been a night that I haven't gone to sleep and thanked the Lord for Carson.
There has NEVER been a moment that I have considered him inferior or less.
There has NEVER been a moment that I haven't looked at him with overwhelming joy in my heart.
There has NEVER been a moment that I have thought he didn't deserve to live.


I have become so burdened for babies who are terminated. It doesn't matter to me whether they are terminated at 3 weeks or 30 weeks. They are a precious baby with God-given life. It makes me so sick that people think life is in their hands. When people take their own life it is called suicide. When people take the life of another it is called murder. When people take the life of a developing child it is called freedom of choice. Have you ever considered that every person in defense of this freedom of choice was given life. I currently am 10 weeks pregnant with our second child. At 10 weeks my baby has fingers and toes. The ears are beginning to develop. Baby's brain will make an incredible 25,000 new neurons every minute this week.
He/she measures about 1 1/2 inches long. The heartbeat is strong and easily detected on ultrasound.


What if this child has a disability??? That question has of course crossed my mind, and I have a answer. It is the same answer I had when I was 10 weeks pregnant with Carson (before we knew he did)
My answer is this- This baby is a gift from the Lord to me. It is not me who gave him life, but rather the Lord. It is the Lord who individually has a plan for him. It is the Lord who loves him most. It is the Lord who is in control. I will trust Him, I will serve Him, and I will thank Him. Knowing that His ways are best.


Now here is some of that best.

My sister sent Carson his birthday early and we couldn't wait. The first time we set him on it didn't go well. He was very scared. Day 2 I put his favorite bear CO2 on it and drove him around for Carson to see. That night Carson and CO2 rode around our backyard and Carson really seemed to get more comfortable. Today we took him out to the park and wide open terrain. Here is how he did.

Look at how tall and proud he is sitting.    :)

bad to the bone, right?

Thank you Aunt Katie, I love it!

And once again, tonight I will go to sleep with sore cheek bones from all the laughing and smiling we did today.

fair trip, baby boy, and awareness

This past weekend, we made a trip to the fair. To a 10 month old this was not exciting until we hit the food stands.... Well, I must confess that I felt the same way. :) Here are some pictures from our food ventures. He did not care for the animals, or the exibits. In fact, both pretty much scared him. So he needed some comfort and we all know where that comfort is.

First off corn dogs.

hmmm.. Mom, I think I can handle that.

Oh yeah, I got this thing.

Here he has almost the entire thing in his mouth.

This however works better

 

Next up- Cinnamon roll.

Uh.. gone.. what?

Luckily, I can lick my fingers.

These were taken yesterday. It was a rainy day and so I put Carson in some feety pajamas. I couldn't get enough of how much he looked like a baby again. :) It just melted my heart.

                                                          Oh how I love this baby boy

I also wanted to mention that October is spina bifida awareness month. Spina Bifida is something that we have learned about through experience. However, I feel that people need to know what it is through influence as well. I think about all the precious babies who are not given the chance to life because there is a  lack of proper information or a lack of proper counsel. How sad it is that spina bifida is considered a severe disabling birth defect that effects the child's quality of life. Even worse is that many women are counseled by doctors that the very best thing they can do is choose abortion. We must do our part to spread awareness, and change the opinion of what spina bifida is. Look how cute and happy and amazing a child with spina bifida can be. Look at the quality of life they themselves have and the blessing that they are to those around them. They are so strong, and teach us so many things about life and love.

A small way that you can help is by purchasing a Spina Bifida awareness t-shirt. The cost is only $13 and you can "wear your awareness".  Perhaps you will meet someone and be able to share the testimony and blessing of the one who you love with spina bifida.

Please go to http://urbanupcycling.blogspot.com/2010/10/redefine-spina-bifidia.html and place your order today. They will only be available till October 12.