Why do we face trials

By definition a trial is defined as a testing, or proofing. It is the difficulty a person must overcome to obtain a certain result. We all face trials. We all face certain hardships or difficulties in our life. In my opinion, nobody faces the same trials. Yes, there may be certain similarities at times.... but greater are the differences. We cannot compare our trials to another just as we cannot compare our fingerprints. I believe that the Lord personally prepares our trials. Yes, I believe that He cares enough to individually prepare my trial, and likewise cares enough for you to make yours unique and personal as well.

Why do we face them????

My personal belief is we face trials so that we may see the goodness and the power of God at work in our lives and better appreciate the blessings we have been given.

Trials are meant to point us to the Lord. I believe that He does give us more than we can handle (on our own) and that He does this in His wisdom and His goodness. You see if I could handle everything on my own, I wouldn't need Him.  I wouldn't have to fall on my knees in tears and ask for his help and his strength. But oh how I do.... I need Him. The blessing is that He is always there, He always strengthens me and I get to see Him working and using a trial for His glory.

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

I can pinpoint in my life certain trials. With each of those trials that I have been through I can pinpoint the blessing and the work that the Lord did and I can rejoice in the prayers that he answered and the way He worked. He has proven to me that He is more than faithful and has shown me that His plan is best.

 I still struggle. I still question. I still doubt.

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." --- Proverbs 3:5-6. 

I must awaken each and every day asking the Lord to guide me, to strengthen me, and use me. I must not worry, or fret, or question. If I spent my day in worry I would miss the blessings that surround me. God is so good!!!! And there is so much happiness and so much joy every day. 

Today while we were at lunch I was giving Carson some pizza. You know tearing some pieces off and setting him up a little plate of bite size pieces. This worked great... for a while. Well Carson had other plans while I was lost in conversation with Bob. These pictures are after he downed a good about of the piece I had on my plate. :)

Was this yours?

 

Mine now.

Look Mom, I don't even need my hands

In just two days this boy will be 16 months.... And if you have any questions about how he's doing I think these pictures can speak louder than words. :)

Finally Friday

Today is finally Friday! There is something about a Friday that just makes you want to shout!!! Literally jump up and shout!!! This week has been very hard in Carson's Corner. In fact, I'm suprised I didnt think about setting him in a corner this week. I did threaten a poke with a sharp stick (my dad's favorite line). Any way today, I am rejoicing. This week has been hard... but this week is almost over. Like every other week before it... It will be gone.

Time flies too quickly as you are raising a child. I am in shock that our little boy is not so little (23 lbs.) and is getting in his big boy teeth. Soon ( 8 weeks away) our little boy will be the big brother as we welcome little boy#2. All of this happened way too quickly. I'm picking out the double stroller, sewing baby blankets, and starting to waddle. All the while Carson is beginning to say more words, crawl better, and navigate me to Target's snack bar so that he can have popcorn. I'm not kidding ---- the boy points and directs me by grunts how to get there as soon as we enter the store. :)

He also has turned into the biggest flirt in town. I told Bob today that he is not allowed to take Carson out without me. The girls flock him. As we were eating our lunch every waitress in the restaurant came over to tell their little buddy, "hello". To which he can now wink and blow kisses. The other night we were out with our Pastor and his wife. As the waitress is clearing the table I notice Carson's hand is pinching her hiney. Of course I'm bright red and embarrassed as I grab his hand and apologize. That's one of those stories I'm going to tell at his wedding and embarrass the socks off him. Payback.

So amid the terrible teething we have had some fun. What a blessing to just stop and realize how special and amazing and wonderful he is. How different he has made life, and how happy we are to be his parents. So happy Friday everyone!!! Congrats on another week completed.

These pictures were taken last week, but made me smile and encouraged me through this week. 

baby bump sighting. :)

The gift of time

Lately I have had the joy and pleasure of meeting together with some other moms. Most of these moms being new (newborn- 6 month old)  moms. Now I am no seasoned veteran with a 15 month old, I am a new mom myself but it has definitely become apparent that there is a difference now in my attitude and in my approach than there was a year ago. It has been a pleasure in conversations to have the "been there, done that" experiences. It has cracked me up and cheered me up.

For instance-
Nursing/ feeding- What a roller coaster this was with Carson. Formula/ breastmilk every 3 hrs. The spit-up battle. Now he eats table foods and he has the understanding that enables him to wait for his meals.

Nap/ bedtime schedules- AAAAHHHHHH What is that I thought in the beginning. Now Carson has a very good scheduled bedtime routine and he also takes great naps.

Now we are still in a extreme process of learning and adjusting and working out the balance; but how different it is at 15 months than it was at 3 months. 

Today I also met a precious lady whose daughter has spina bifida. Her daughter is 35. It is so wonderful and so refreshing to talk with someone that has been there and can understand and can give you encouragement.

The one thing that has so efficiently dawned on me is how much of a gift time is to us. At 3 months old I remember all to well how scared and fearful I was. How insane I was with all the ups and downs of having a newborn. especially having a newborn with spina bifida. There was no real schedule, there was no guideline, there was no experience on my part. Everything was trial and error.

I was afraid to hold Carson at times... and then certain positions were an absolute no. I thought I would hurt him. I was afraid to let others hold him. I really thought that the scar on his back would just pop open and we would have cerebral spinal fluid all over the place. I thought it he cried for too long then the pressure in his head would cause the fontanel to explode. :) and then don't even get me started on how germ-infested everything is and how he must not come in contact with any germs.

Time... it has changed so many things.

Patience is not a virtue I possess. I am awful. I want instant results. I want to know what is going to happen and how. But that is not the Lord's intention. Nor is it what's best for us. Time is His gift to us

  "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: " Ecclesiastes 3:1
   " He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. " Ecclesiastes 3:11

Time has comforted my fears
Time has strengthened me
Time has encouraged my heart
Time has motivated me to continue
Time has taught me in so many ways
Time has opened my eyes to blessings

Time has been on my side. Time has flown too. I remember all those sleepness nights with a newborn and how I thought they would never end. Now I realize it passed too quickly. My Carson is becoming a little boy and he is doing it way too quickly.

Soon we will have Silas joining us and things will change. Boy will things be changing. :) I have had so many people lately wonder why we didn't wait longer to have our second child. Why didn't we allow more time. Wait till he was more independent, more mobile. Maybe things would be easier if we had waited. I can't say when the perfect time would be. In fact, I don't know that I could ever conclude the perfect time in my own thinking. All I can say is that I know this is in God's timing. It is not going to be easy, I know that. But more importantly I know that time will once again bring it's precious gifts.

Give Love

Many of you have already seen this--- Isn't it so perfect!!!!! 


For those of you who have not seen this I wanted to share it with you. SO Perfectly said!

Because it's February.

Because I just decorated my house in pink and red hearts.

Because Valentines are not just for couples...but friends, mommies, daddies, siblings, classmates and neighbors.

Because everybody needs love. And not the romantic comedy, butterflies in your stomach, plucking petals off daisies kind of love.

They need the "I'm yours forever" kind of love.

The "we can do this together" kind of love.

The "can't stop starring at you" kind of love.

The "I'm always there for you" kind of love.

The "I can't keep myself from smiling around you" kind of love.

The "I promise to make time to laugh with you" kind of love.

The "everything you say is so important to me" kind of love.

The " I couldn't be prouder of you in this moment" kind of love.

The love that lifts you up....

Squeezes you tight...

Makes even hard times feel alright..

The love that teaches you all that you need to know...

And gives you support you need to grow...

The undeniable you were made for me...

And together we make a family...

What's mine is yours...

I treasure each kiss...

And everyone deserves to feel like this...

Kind of Love.

Because real love can never be truly expressed in the form of greeting cards, chocolates, flowers, or jewelry. Those sweet tokens and gestures give momentary happiness - but it's the feeling love behind them that really means anything at all. So with that in mind, and in the spirit of this holiday of love - I would like to propose the perfect gift for your loved ones.

Give Love.

You can bring joy and love not only to those who hold your heart -

 but to another who needs your help.

Give Love.

By helping one little boy come home to the family who is waiting to give him this kind of love. The kind of love we are blessed to already have. 

The kind of love he deserves.

Give Love.

Shea's story is a remarkable one - and it is only just beginning. He now has a familyready for him - and Shea is WAITING to come home. His family is actively completing the adoption process - eager to give Shea the love, support and care only a family can give. The only thing we can do to help them bring Shea home as soon as possible is to GIVE. 

Give what you have.

$5, $25, $50

It's not the size of the gift, but the size of the heart behind it.

GIVE LOVE.

It is so costly to adopt internationally - so much so that many people say "we can't afford that" or "it's just not possible for us". But this family has given everything they have not once, not twice, but 3 TIMES (read their blog - they are an amazing family)and is making that leap of faith to make Shea a part of their family - but they need help raising the last bits. (And in adoption language, "bits" = $9,000!) 

They need our HELP!

As a friend so honestly reminded me " Let's face it ... we all spend/waste $$$ on this every year. The chocolate is gone...the flowers die... and all you have is a distant memory of the token(s) you invested in." How much more meaningful - how much more noble - how much more truer to what love is all about - to give that money instead to this family - to this little boy - to bring him home - to give him Love.

So help share the love...with Shea. :)

Isn't that the most adorable Valentine ever?!

It's message is simple - it's purpose sincere.

Make a donation (even just $5!) in the name of a friend or loved one - to Shea's Adoption Grant (through the chipin on the right hand margin of this page) or visit hisfamily's blog and donate through their chipin (it all goes to his account.) Then print out these adorable Shea Valentines (see Donation Gift Cards for the printable link) and give them to your sweetie, your sister, your mother, your friend - and see their faces light up at the sweet face on the card.

I can't think of a sweeter, kinder, more beautiful way to Give Love.

Can you?

Redefining spina bifida

When I first heard the words spina bifida I had no idea what they meant. I knew I didnt want to hear them, and I knew they were words that packed a powerful meaning. I first heard these words on September 24, 2009. I heard them said as the condition that my baby boy would be born with.

Spina Bifida----- myelomengingocele in our case. An open neural tube defect.

They were words that I couldn't really understand at the time. The dr. explained it as best he could, even used a baby doll as a illustration... drew pictures... showed us medical books. Still I didn't quite understand. I went home and googled the words.... Most research left me in tears. It left me hurt and it left me feeling scared and helpless. Praise the Lord in my research I found a community of mothers whose children also had spina bifida. The first I remember meeting was Emily. She had a son whose name was also Carson.... he was just a few months old at the time.... he was adorable... and she was sweet and so very helpful. I met other mothers and read blogs about children who were miraculous... children who were living with spina bifida. They were happy, and adorable children who were doing everything that other children their age were doing. I remember reading at the time about one little boy who was very active in wheelchair sports. Very active and very good. I remember reading about a little girl who just took her first steps in a walker. I met friends. I met help and I met comfort. I learned that though there would be lots of new words added to my vocabulary (ex. hydrocephalus, kidney reflux, lesion level, chiari malformation, etc. ) everything was going to be ok. I learned that spina bifida was being redefined. It was not what google said. Kids as young as 2 days old were bringing an entirely new light  and meaning to the words.
 

Strength
Courage
Endurance
Fear
Patience
Love
Trust
Hope

On November 11, I  met my Carson. As I placed my hand in his I knew confirmation of all these words. Especially strength and even more so love. These words have themselves gained a new meaning in my life.

From a very young age Carson could put up a fight.

And he loves to flex his "muscles"

Him redefining love is pretty obvious. Everyday I take  new photos of this LOVE.

 Because I can't help it. He brings so much joy and so much laughter to my life. There are so many moments I just do not want to forget. When I see him and I see his happy face and hear that belly laugh I do not think about spina bifida the same.

So few people know about spina bifida. It is extremely sad. What is even sadder is the false information that is given online and given by doctors to those who  are expecting a child with spina bifida. Believe it or not, many women are encouraged to abort the baby. Spina bifida is among the conditions that is considered medically necessary even. They consider the quality of life to be hindered and therefore disregard the sanctity of life and abort.

SO HEARTBREAKING!

But we can do something. We must do something. Please help us redefine spina bifida. Please help us spread awareness about what spina bifida really is. Support Carson and support his friends. You can purchase a t-shirt, tote bag, even a hoodie.Go to http://urbanupcycling.blogspot.com/ and place your order. FAST! You have till Tuesday February 1.

A blessing

This past weekend I had the privilege of attending our church's annual Ladies retreat... what a blessing it is to get to spend time with ladies in fellowship and be challenged together in our Christian walk. Challenged and encouraged I was. 

 The theme for our retreat was Fanning the Flames. It references how we must fan the flame of our relationship with the Lord.... I needed this retreat (badly)

You see the first thing I learned is in regards to seeing the Lord in my life I have Glaucoma.

Glaucoma is an eye disorder in which the optic nerve suffers damage, permanently impacting vision in the affected eye(s) and progressing to complete blindness if untreated. It is often, but not always, associated with increased pressure of the fluid in the eye. Because of the increased pressure in life I have suffered vision damage and am not seeing the Lord in my life as I should.

The speaker reminded us that God is always present in our lives. He is always with us. Hebrews 28:20
"...and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen."  It is God's promise.... and we know He keeps his promises. But why are only a few occurrences in my life when I can say that I have truly seen the Lord? Why is it that I often question his presence, and ask Lord, where are you in this tough situation? It is MY vision problem. I, personally, fail to see him as a result of my own lack of awareness.
He is always there.... just as He promised... however, I am rarely where I need to be spiritually in order to see Him.

I have often heard this illustration given in church, and it relates so well.

- A couple who had been married for several years is traveling down a highway together in a pickup truck. The man is driving, the wife is sitting in the passenger seat. After several minutes, the wife angrily interrupts the silence. "What happened to us?" She asks. "Marriage and life just seems as if it has pulled us apart. We used to ride all snuggled up together in this truck. We were so much closer. Now... look at the space between us."
Without hesitation the man replys, "I didn't move an inch. Dear, you are the one that scooted over."

The Lord remains in our life constant. Never moving, never leaving, and never ceasing to work. The problem lies in us... we scoot over. We let routine, or struggles get between us. We don't pray, or spend time in His word as we should. We don't seek Him and we fail to see Him.

The last part of the session was about activation. Service. We all know we are commanded to serve the Lord and this of course brings us closer to Him. Yet, we come up with excuses.
I'm too old/ too young...... I'm not married/I am married..... I don't have the education/I'm too educated.....My background is not desirable... and of course the most often given.... I'm too busy. Our speaker used Exodus 35: 22-29 as her text. These verses speak of wise women who worked with their hands and provided the fabric used in the tabernacle. They had willing hearts, and they gave their own precious resources. As an illustration to giving of our own precious resources she mentioned our children. What is more precious to our hearts than our own children. Her statement was, "What if the Lord asked your child to serve as a missionary. Would you be willing to let them go?" My answer of course was "Yes" If God called Carson to be a missionary, oh how happy we would be, and proud. As my mind wondered on this thought..... Carson a missionary..... telling others about Christ..... serving Him with His life.... tears filled my eyes and my heart was overhwhelmingly prodded as this thought smacked me in the face.

God has called Carson to serve Him with His life, and to be a testimony for Him. He gave my child a disability in order to show His strength, and His goodness. It is a opportunity for us to praise Him..... yet, I am  not always willing to allow Carson, my son, my baby to do so. I get upset that He must struggle, I cry that He isn't like other children his age. Spina Bifida may be the exact thing that God gave our family as a means of service to Him, and I have two choices.

I will either allow the Lord to work, and be praised, pointing others to Him.

Or I refuse, gripe and complain, and hinder the Lord's purpose.

 Yes, this weekend I was challenged.... and boy, I am glad. My brother reminded me of this last night.

 ^{Romans 8:28 "}And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. "

New year equals new opportunities

We have been without home internet and so I am way behind on sharing a few things with you.

On December 30 we picked up Carson's wheelchair !!!! FULLY PAID FOR BY INSURANCE!!!!!!!

Because of weather and Carson being sick we have'nt much opportunity for use. Last night we took it with us to church and let Carson show it off.... He did! He is having a harder time "getting" the use of this chair because the wheels are different from the chair we had to practice in. But, I know soon enough he will be racing around.

Receiving this wheelchair has honestly caused a battle within my heart. I am so excited we have it, and so excited to see Carson in it and enjoying it, but I also cry at the fact we have one... the fact that we need one.

My good friend Joanna has a song that plays on her blog just about everytime I visit it ( I think it's intentional) The lyrics to the song just make my throat tighten and bring tears to my eyes. The song talks about how we all have pain we face, hard times, struggles, and we cannot understand them. We cannot see the bigger picture. However, the Lord does and the Lord has good promised for those who love Him..... We just have to wait for it. Then yesterday at church our choir sang, "Isn't the love of Jesus something wonderful?" Oh it is, and oh how great and loving and good God is to us. Trials do come, but in time we see the goodness and the garce of God.

My dad had a series of massive strokes in 2006 which left him brain-damaged and paralyzed. It was a mountain we thought we could never climb, but almost five years later I see it differently and I see all the wonderful blessings that came about through that trial, including Bob and I falling in love. Just this past week we celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary.

This past year my sister in law miscarried her first child.... and now her and I both are expecting healthy baby boys in April .

Blessings surround us... The Lord surrounds us with His grace, His love, and His purpose.

One last blessing that I am overjoyed at sharing is our friend Greyson is beginning to walk with help from a gait trainer!!!!! This was a video that they shared on Christmas. A Christmas present which has filled my heart with hope and praise. Greyson's spina bifida diagnoses is very similar to Carson's. They have worked so hard, and Greyson is conquering and redefining spina bifida with every step he takes.

Greyson's gift

Isn't God good??? Isn't it amazing to see Him working in the lives of our children. I can't wait to see what wonderful things will happen this year.